Has it really been over a year!?

Man, I can't believe it has been over a year since I've written.  Lame.

Everything has happened in the last 14 months...

-Quit my job in San Diego because the management company wasn't going to be the management company anymore and I was going to have to interview for the same job I only had 90 days. Scary.

-In November 2013 I did the Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk for the 3rd time. 60 miles!  So worth it.

-Started in December of 2013 working for House of Blues in Anaheim.  Best decision ever.  I get to work with my bff Vanessa and the job is just the best.  The perks are incredible.  Made some of the best friends I've ever had.

-Ended a relationship in February.  It was good, until it wasn't. Our views were just too different and I really didn't appreciate being questioned every 5 minutes about who I was talking to.  I would never have cheated on him and he knew that.  Too insecure for my liking.

-Went to Vegas for Stefany's bachelorette party as well as her wedding at my old workplace, South Coast Winery!

-Helped Seester buy car! :)

-Took a couple of trips to Colorado.  One of them being the wedding of my best friend, Angelina. Met a ton of wonderful people that I can now call my friends.  Such an amazing experience.

-Started dating again.  Vanessa made me try out Plenty of Fish.  It's been...a journey... LOL. I deleted it last week because it was just massively annoying and I really don't have time to deal with the nonsense that I get on a daily basis.  I met a nice guy from there that I got on dates with.  He seems to have a lot going on his in life, so I'm not really expecting much.  And you know what?  That's just fine with me at the moment.  I have fun with him and he is really laid back.  He's pretty cute too. :)

-Worked my ass off this holiday season with parties at work and now I'm about to take a vacation. Yup, a VACATION!  December 25th-January 4th, I will be organizing my house, going to the hot tub when I feel like it, and just generally relaxing.

I'm looking forward to 2015.  I have a lot of opportunities that are arising as far as the next step in my life.  I'll be honest...I'm scared.  Like, really scared.  I have to make a few decisions that could shape the rest of my life.

~More to come...

Feeling good today

I spent time last night with my new "friend" and behaved quite well on my eating habits!  I also talked to him about how I am wanting to eat better and run more, etc. and he is super supportive.  And to be completely honest, if we go out, I want him to be proud of who he is out with.  Not that he isn't now, I just want to feel good standing next him.

Had Slimfast again for breakfast and am currently eating french onion soup for lunch.  Bistro got me. Whatever, it's fairly healthy.

Feeling Like a Kewpie Doll

No Seriously.
I feel like a Kewpie Doll.
I hop out of the shower and I look in the mirror and my tummy is WAY too round and my legs do indeed look like the Michelin Man.

I cried a little last night after hopping out of the shower.  2 and a half years ago I decided I was much too fat and over the course of 8 months, I lost 40 pounds.  And I felt good.  Over the past year, I gained 27 of those 40 pounds back and I feel awful.  My BMI is 29.6.  Do you know that is .4 away from being obese?

I'm 13 pounds away from where I was at my heaviest and I NEVER want to be there again.  So, I sat down last night after putting on tons of clothes, and wrote down what I wanted to do.

1.) Lose 37 pounds.

2.) Get back to running and be able to run a 5k again.  (I know that is not a big deal for most, but running over 3 miles without stopping is huge for me.  I didn't event do that in high school and I was doing this a year and a half ago)

3.) Eat better.  Since I came to my new job just 2 months ago, I've gained like 10 pounds.  I don't run around nearly as much as I used to at the winery and the Bistro we have inhouse is a 70% discount. 70%! I need to bring my own food.

Today I started.  I had Slim Fast for breakfast, chicken soup and an apple for lunch, and well dinner is going to be a problem.  I recently started seeing someone and he is an excellent cook.  I just need to remind myself, portion control.  I figure if I do well and run like I should, I can eat with him a couple times a week and be just fine.

So here we go. Day 1.  I can't take being/looking like this.

Ball of Nerves

So I accepted a new job position today in San Diego.

What this means:
-I will now have weekends off.
-I will be commuting to San Diego. Meh.
-I will BE in San Diego!

What this also means:
-I'll be leaving my awesome team at South Coast :(
-I will be away from the nonsense of South Coast.
-I have to put in my 2 weeks tomorrow.

My stomach is in knots knowing that I have to put in my notice tomorrow.  I don't want to hurt my boss's feelings and I feel awful leaving with the way things are at work right now.

With that being said, I feel like life is passing me by and I really need a change.

Crash & Burn

As I approach my 31st birthday next week and look back at the first year in my 30's, I cannot believe how much has happened.

1.) Went to Vegas with a great group and won $1,000 on my birthday trip.

2.) Dated and broke up with a guy who had been my friend for many years.  Too bad really.

3.) Had a family of 4 fully move in with me.

    3a.) Family of 4 turned into a family of 5 on June 21st with the addition of Miss Kaylee.

4.) Went to Cabo with Rosa and met some of the most amazing people.

5.) Family drama that we will just label "Family Drama".

6.) My sister moving into my house and into my room (good thing we get along famously).

My last year has changed and shaped me in a way that I truly am grateful for.  Having two toddler boys in my house that I absolutely am in love with has really had an impact on me.  You're never the same after you live with children...especially two boys under the age of 3.  :o)

With that being said, I am seriously burned out.  

Work, Home, Relationships.  I'm mentally exhausted.

I work a lot.  Like a lot.  And when I'm not at work, on my midweek "weekend", I am constantly on my phone checking work emails.  On a typical Saturday, I am at work from 9:30am to about 8:30pm and I am exhausted when I come home.  The day is usually filled with site tours of the property and events that need attention so I am on my feet, hustling.  When I get home, there are 3 adults and 3 children that live with me and I usually just want to go to my room and avoid them because my mind isn't all there and I really don't want to have to be "on".  The couple that lives with me has a relationship filled with turmoil and it feels like there is always some sort of tension when you walk into the house.  I know they are stressed being 22 and 21 with 3 children under the age of 3 and it is a lot for them to deal with.  

However, things are about to change...

1.) Family of 5 is moving to Florida at the end of this month. (I'm gonna miss my babies!)

2.) Sister will be moving into her own room.

3.) Been interviewing for jobs in San Diego. Yes, it would mean commuting, but it would also mean my weekends off.

4.) I'm actually open to a relationship, but I don't want a booty call.  Ain't nobody got time for that.

As exciting and life changing 30 has been, I feel that 31 is going to be just as crazy. 

I'm ready.